Matt Ortega

Taking a break from the daily slog of politics, Michael Vick, the Atlanta Falcons quarterback under indictment for running an illegal dogfighting ring out of his home, was sued by a South Carolina inmate. The Superficial:

NFL quarterback Michael Vick is facing federal charges for allegedly participating in illegal dogfighting, and now he’s being hit with a “$63,000,000,000 billion dollar” lawsuit filed by South Carolina inmate Jonathan Lee Riches, who says Michael stole his pit bulls and sold them on eBay to buy “missiles from Iran.” Fox News reports:

The complaint also alleges that Vick would need those missiles because he pledged allegiance to Al Qaeda in February of this year.“Michael Vick has to stop physically hurting my feelings and dashing my hopes,” Riches writes in the complaint.

Riches wants $63 billion dollars “backed by gold and silver “ delivered to the front gates to the Williamsburg Federal Correctional facility in South Carolina. Riches is an inmate at the facility serving out a wire fraud conviction.

Oh yeah, did I mention the lawsuit was written by hand? Because it’s written by hand. And I’m not a lawyer, but this Jonathan Lee Riches sounds like he’s got a rock solid case. Michael Vick better start saving, because “$63 billion dollars backed by gold and silver “ is kind of a lot of money. I don’t want to brag, but I’m pretty good with numbers.

When Vick was brought in to be processed by authorities, did he have to list any aliases? Was he carrying a water bottle?

Updated 8/17/07 at 12:09pm: Johnathan Lee Riches, the plaintiff in this case, has a history of filing rather humorous lawsuits. In the spring of last year, Riches filed suit against a list of people spanning 50 pages, including President Bush, just about the entire Bush cabinet, Senator Hillary Clinton (D-New York), Pope Benedict XIV, Shawn Carter “doing business as Jay Z,” www.AccuWeather.com and a whole host of others.